BILL

“I just been shit-luck. Tried to kill myself three times. The last time I almost succeeded.”  

“I had a rough life. I was sitting at home when my mom died. It was me, my dad, and sister. And my mom goes to my dad… and boom she died right there. I seen her die. I seen my brother die. I seen my sister die. I seen my brother-in-law die. I seen a few people die and I don’t want to see no more die.” 

“Last couple days I haven’t eaten none. Not hungry. Drink lots of coffee.” 

“I’ve been here [in Kitchener] all my life. Actually, end of this month, it will be 61 years. Born in 1960. People say ‘You don’t look it” and I say “I sure don’t f— act it.” 

When asked where he is staying now, Bill replied “On the street.” “But too much bulls— down there. People owe money and don’t want to pay it. I had to get out of there before I end up in jail. I’m staying at my friend’s gazebo. She got a mattress, heater, and blankets. Yea, but last night was really cold and I didn’t stay there. I was at my buddy’s. I haven’t slept in 2 days. I drink a lot of coffee and try to stay awake. There’s too much shit on my mind. Yesterday was 39 years since my mom’s been dead. I stayed up and it kept going through my head. This month…my dad died on the 13th. My brother died… and on the 28th died on my uncle died. That’s my birthday. Happy birthday.” 

“He [dad] only had one arm. He had one blown off at 21. Shotgun. Blew it off right here. He was 21 when he lost his arm.” 

“I used to work. And now I’m on disability and CPP (Canadian Pension Plan) for the last 5 years. I was doing construction, jack hammering, Costco meat packer – all kinds of jobs. I would work 16 or 18 hours a day, go back home, get a couple hours of sleep, and back at my shift again. I screwed my back up. I got 4-6 vertebrae’s screwed up, and 19 concussions. I broke my nose about 13 times. Broke this hand twice.”  

“I just hope to find a place soon. I’ve been on the streets a couple years on and off. I moved in with my ex-girlfriend at Holiday Inn Express in Guelph. Stupid mistake. It got to be too much and I moved back out.” 

“I found one place… they want $875. For a room. You share the house. The price of a room is sky high man. That’s $1750 for first month and last month. Now I only get $1100 a month on CPP and disability. That covers first month…not last month.” 

“I would go back to work, but my back can’t take it man. Doc telling me ‘If you did surgery, there’s a 40% change you’d be in a wheelchair.’ Well then I say ‘There’s a 60% chance you’ll fix my back so leave it alone. I’ll be in a wheel chair when I’m in a wheel chair.’ I’m in a lot of pain sometimes.”